Everybody seems to have something negative to say about the Skiffy board. Hateful trolls say it's a cesspool of adoring fanboys. Adoring fanboys say it's a cesspool of hateful trolls. Aging pedantic nerds call it a pit of immature soap-opera-loving teens. Immature soap-opera-loving teens call it a pit of aging pedantic nerds. What seems to be generally agreed is that Skiffy is some sort of a pool or pit, and that the admins are cruel and capricious dictators, biased toward (or even sockpuppets for) one's enemies, and pursuing obsessive spiteful vendettas against one's friends.
That is the single biggest myth you should give up right now if you want to last, because the skill most Skiffy veterans share in common is the ability to shrug off apparently random deletions without taking them personally. The admins aren't against you. They don't delete your posts or threads because you suck or because you aren't welcome, and they don't make alliances or pursue vendettas. It's not that they are above it; it's that they just don't have the time.
They also don't have the time to make patient explanations or to defend themselves against public charges of bias. As a result, a lot of rumours go around as to why they do what they do. Ignore any rumour that doesn't acknowledge the fact that this is just a job to them. They're Sci Fi Channel employees, paid to check in on a very infrequent basis to make some attempt at keeping the board on topic and preventing it from going up in flames. The only rapidfire tool they have at their disposal is the delete key (a rather crude device), and they aren't always going to apply it perfectly. There is going to be collateral damage. Take it in stride.
People who love this place and prefer to post here (and there are a lot of us) would probably agree that the relatively unmoderated 6-to-12 hour periods between admin patrols are when Skiffy is at its best and its worst — most prone to close encounters either of the hilarious or the distasteful kind. Unofficial fan-run boards can be enormously interesting and creative places to hang out, but they have to regularly recruit to bring in fresh blood and avoid stagnation. Skiffy doesn't have that problem. This is the first stop for any newbie Sci Fi fan fresh off the TV set with a gleam in their eye. Sometimes when the shows are in season there is so much new blood here that the board can completely change its character in a matter of days. Don't like the atmosphere? Come back in two weeks, or two months.
Boards like this are where fans land before they have had a chance to self-segregate. We get the first look at all types of people in the process of joining fandom, whether they be conspiracy theorists, radio hosts, tabloid reporters, gender warriors, UFO nuts, asiaphiles, rocket scientists, clown fetishists, pilots (lots of pilots), political revolutionaries, copyright revolutionaries, armchair philosophers, paste eaters, race baiters, ninja baiters, anything baiters, nudist typers, soldiers from overseas requesting DVDs, dominatrices, polyamorists, or LEGO geeks.
Many of the fresh faces end up moving on to other hangouts or other hobbies. But there is always more where they came from, and this is where they come to. There is a very wide clash of perspectives here and a resulting vigour that many who are attached to Skiffy find addictive. Hang around here, and over time, you will be exposed to all of it. And to make sure you stick around for it, this is a guide to help you avoid the worst of the trolls and hobgoblins who might sour the experience for you or chase you away. A guide to help you survive the board, and just as importantly, a guide to help the board survive you.
The Skiffy Survival Guide
At first glance, Skiffy is just a set of parallel streets, one for each show. A particular show's boulevard travels in a straight line past a dizzyingly long list of topics (called "threads"): there are none of the turn-offs, side streets, or cul-de-sacs you might find on a fan-run board. There is just one main drag, and all the threads line up along it like hustlers cruisin' for some action. The ones that score new posts are "bumped" to the front of the line.
To a newbie this looks something like a bottomless well of writhing snakes: constant turnover. But as you get to know your favourite show's strip, you realise that some threads are bumped so reliably by the regulars that you can almost set your watch by them. Like one-room saloons, they become places for shooting the breeze among smaller groups of people who are drawn to the topic that the thread is supposed (but often fails) to be about. Whether they are discussing the topic or not, their common interest gives each joint its own particular flavour.
It might surprise you, but despite their high post counts, individual episode discussion threads are notorious for being tag team battlegrounds and rarely develop a longlasting local crowd. The following types of threads are the most prone to develop into watering holes...
- Any threads that are openly posted in by someone connected with the show.
- "Appreciation" threads, especially if they're in appreciation of an actor or an actress on the show for whom pics are available.
- "Shipper" threads: a type of appeciation thread that focuses on a particular (usually sexual) relationship between two characters on the show.
- Real world analog threads can become regularly frequented by people with a special expertise or interest in some body of knowledge (such as military organisation) relevant to the show.
- Fan art threads of any kind snowball very quickly and often become long-term graphics/smalltalk trading posts.
- Gaming threads (roleplaying games, word games, etc.) naturally attract likeminded people and the game assures a constant stream of posts.
- Sticky threads (threads that are "pinned" by the admins to the top of the board) are always available, and thus can sometimes become hangout threads — but not as often as you'd think.
- Most threads with a ridiculously large number of pages have probably acquired a regular crowd.
With all this talk of subcommunities, it may appear that most of the threads are clubby environments that are only friendly to longtime posters or insiders, but this is generally not the case, You will almost certainly be welcome in any of the above types of threads if you keep in mind a few tips...
- Always read the very first post of any thread before you reply to it. The first post is where the expectations are laid out as to what the OP (Original Poster) intends to discuss.
- You do not necessarily have to read the entire thread before posting in it, especially if it is gigantic. If the thread is of manageable length (say, you could read it all in less than half an hour), some posters may expect you to have read it.
- Introducing yourself to the thread and saying "Hi" is always nice but you are more likely to start somebody interacting with you if you express an opinion or bring along something to talk about right off the bat. Don't be shy: jump in!
- If nobody replies to your post, don't immediately take it as a rejection. There is a lot to read here and many people for the sake of economy focus mostly on those with whom they are used to interacting. It can take a few posts for you to register in people's minds as a thread participant. Also, your first comment or idea may have already been discussed thoroughly upthread, or elsewhere on the board. If it gets no response, don't demand one. Talk about something new.
- It's not a great idea to crash an "appreciation thread" with a series of lengthy emotional rants about how much you don't appreciate the subject of the thread. A negative opinion politely expressed in a positive thread is usually not a problem (though don't be surprised to suddenly be debating six different people). But try not to press it to the point where you are acting as a blocker for the thread's purpose. Getting along with others requires giving them the space to do their thing. And when you want to create a thread for a particular purpose, you won't like it if someone makes a point of doing everything they can to subvert that purpose. Don't invite lessons in karma. Let the appreciators have their party. You can usually find an opportunity to debate the same people over the same issue in a more neutrally-titled thread. Or, you can start a "depreciation thread" for the likeminded.
Survive Making a Reply
You walk into some joint. You hear what everyone is jawing about. And before you know it, you find yourself with a strong opinion. And this one's worth way more than two cents. You know exactly what needs to be said to cut to the heart of the issue. So you hit that Reply button, write it up, really thinking it through. This post is gold.
But because you didn't understand something about the board software, everyone ignores what you posted and instead harps on about the way you posted it. Or even worse: your post gets swallowed up by the board, never to appear again. These are some of the most disheartening things that can happen to you on a message board. Here's how to avoid them...
- Don't post spoilers without a warning. There is little that you can do that will provoke more complaints than this. If you do it by accident, don't turn an innocent mistake into a flame war by arguing over what is the definition of a spoiler. A spoiler is any detail about the storyline of any episode that is not yet aired or only recently aired. It doesn't matter whether it came from a public interview or from an inside leak — some people want to avoid it either way, and they just want to be reassured that they can be safe reading your posts in the future. You will often see spoilers written in such a way that they can only be seen when you highlight the text, like so: [spoiler]Spoilage![/spoiler]. Here is exactly what you should type into your post order to do this yourself (only replace what's in red)...
[spoiler][color:white]Insert spoiler here.[/color][/spoiler]
- Before you reply to any post, check the date on it. Very old threads sometimes get bumped to the top of the board (and the admins sometimes pin them there). An old thread can even be stealthbumped without adding any new posts to it. Don't ask me how; I won't tell you, because there are imps among us who like to use this "feature" to fill the board's front page with ancient history. The point is, you could be writing a response to a conversation among people who all left the board months (or even years) ago. That doesn't mean you can't respond to them, but be aware that the thread is stale, and manage your expectations accordingly.
- You see that "Quote" button right beside the "Reply" button? Use it. There's no point in posting something like "I read an article about that and it confirms your opinion" when the opinion is fifteen posts above yours. Quote it, or nobody will know what you're talking about. On the other hand, long conversations in which both parties are constantly quoting tend to build up many levels of quotes-within-quotes, which means getting to your actual post will require a tedious amount of scrolling: in this case, you may want to at least trim out some of the older stuff.
- Don't use the "Attach a file" feature to post an image. It won't work the way you expect. Instead, upload your image from your computer to a public photo server like imageshack.us or photobucket.com. The photo site will store your pic on its servers and assign it a public URL (a web address). Copy that URL and paste it into your post in between [img][/img] tags. For example (replace what's in red)...
Check out my brand new kittens!
The picture will be automatically displayed in your post and people can coo over it endlessly.[img]http://i100.photobucket.com/skiffyuser/mykittens.jpg[/img]
- Try not to post giant pictures because they will stretch the page horizontally and then everyone will have to deal with the annoying business of scrolling left and right to read everything on it. Both imageshack and photobucket provide the option to downsize your pic; try not to go wider than 800 pixels.
- If you post a very long line of text without any spaces in it, it will also stretch the page horizontally. This often happens when people paste very long web links into their posts. Use the "URL" button (it's right beside the smileys on the posting page) to encapsulate a really long link into a single phrase.
- If you have taken more than a few minutes to compose it, always copy your entire post before you click "Continue". The board has a timeout function. If you take more than 15 minutes to write your post, when you finish you will be told "We cannot proceed", your browser's "Back" button won't work, and everything you wrote will be lost. If you have any doubt at all whether you are over the 15 minute limit, here's how to guarantee a successful post...
- Click inside "Post" box (i.e. make sure your text cursor... ...is flashing inside the post box).
- Hit CTRL-A to highlight everything in the box, followed by CTRL-C to copy it.
- Now go ahead and click "Continue".
- If you get "We cannot proceed", hit your browser's "Back" arrow.
- Click inside the "Post" box again, hit CTRL-A again, and then hit CTRL-V to paste your post back into the box.
- Since the timer has now been reset, you should have no trouble clicking "Continue" a second time to complete your post.
- On a Mac, instead of the CTRL key use the COMMAND (
) key.
- Click inside "Post" box (i.e. make sure your text cursor... ...is flashing inside the post box).
- The preview function is broken. You can preview your post — that works. And if there's nothing wrong with your post, you can click "Ok, submit" to go ahead post it — that works, too. But you cannot edit your post after the preview: when you hit "Continue" you will always get "We cannot proceed". The solution is never to hit "Continue" after a preview. Instead, copy your post as described above, hit your browser's "Back" button, and paste it (again, as above) into the original "Post" box.
- After you make a post, you have a six hour edit window within which you can change it or delete it. So if you are going to have second thoughts or want to take any language back that you think might have been too strong, well, first of all, do it, because second thoughts are there for a reason. And do it within six hours because after that your post is permanent.
- When you delete a post, if somebody has replied to it, the post will remain behind as a placeholder, but it will read "Post deleted by [your username]." If you delete it and nobody has replied to it, your post will disappear.
- Before posting, read the official Skiffy Rules, and for more help on using the board software, see the FAQ.
Survive Starting a Thread
If posting into an existing thread is like getting on a passenger ferry, then starting a new thread is more like buying a dingy and putting an ad in the paper: "SAILORS WANTED". If nobody responds it will sink like a stone. There's not much you can do about this: ultimately if nobody is interested in what you're floating, then them's the breaks. But there's no reason to go down with the ship. Just look around for another vessel. Here are some things that you could remember that could make your next thread a little more seaworthy...
- Title your thread accurately. I can't count the number of threads I've seen with subjects like "Something I was thinking" that disappeared without a trace. People decide which threads to read based on the subject lines, so it's your one chance to reel in people who are actually interested in what you're talking about. Don't blow it.
- Never put a spoiler in the subject line. There is no way to properly warn a spoiler in the subject line, so just don't do it. You will be flamed. Don't even do this six months after the episode has aired. There are international viewers who are exposed to the episodes far later than in the United States; they already have to pick through the threads very carefully to avoid spoilers. Don't set traps for them. If you do this by accident without thinking, remember that you can still edit the title of your thread within the six hour window.
- Use the board's search engine if you have a simple question. Often there will be several threads just beyond the first couple of pages that already address it. The Skiffy search engine is often accused of being useless. It actually does work, but not like Google. If you search for more than one keyword, you should start each one with a plus sign. Example: +official +novel. This ensures that you will get posts that mention both words (without the plus signs you get either/or which is kind of useless). If you want to search for a phrase (two or more words appearing side by side), put it in quotes. Example: "fan art". Or, you can mix and match: +"season 2" +dvd. Notice that the form defaults to only searching posts made in the last week. You may want to expand that range to at least a few months.
- If nobody replies to your thread it will start to sink down the list and eventually disappear off the front pages. Don't start a brand new thread right away to push the same topic all over again. This will not get you more responses; it's considered spamming the board. Instead, find your original thread, and "bump" it. You can do this by replying to yourself with the single word "bump". Try not to do this more than a couple of times: if you bump too much, or too often, people will get irritated that you are forcing your thread down their throats. Eventually, if you don't get any takers to help keep your thread alive, just let it slip gracefully into the deep.
- If your thread gets deleted, there was a reason. Don't pick a fight with the admins. You will lose. And the admins never respond to attempts to call them out on the board. If you have something to say to the admins, send them a PM. And if you want your topic to survive eventual deletion, keep it clean and legal, try to find a way to make it about the show, and reflect that in the subject line. It's as simple as that.
- Be aware of the effect you are having on the front page of a show's board. Eager newbies will sometimes create a lot of new threads faster than the board has had time to swallow them, or they might reply to dozens of ancient threads from fifty pages down in the list in the course of a half hour. This can appear to other users as a hostile takeover, and it invites a backlash. Remember, there is only one corridor here, and we all have to live along it. Don't singlehandedly crowd all of the "regular" threads out of the front lobby.
Survive Your Username
It probably seems right now like there are a lot of things to remember not to do, and it's very easy, especially after making a few wrong steps, to get the feeling your face has been put up on the wall at the post office and people are after your head. It's a natural feeling, but it's leading you astray. One of the great things about posting with such a motley crew is that they are accustomed to dealing with friction and are less likely to hold a grudge. And no matter who you've annoyed, there is almost certainly someone out there who is open to what you have to say, and who will eventually log in and interact with you. Besides, with the constant influx of new members, there are always more opportunities to make friends.
Still, it is very human to become preoccupied with status, especially when there are all these indicators attached to your username. Here's what they mean and why you shouldn't worry about them...
- Stars: As soon as you begin to post, you will quickly acquire anywhere from one to five gold stars under your name. You get these when someone clicks on your username and rates you from 1 to 5. Your star count is the average (rounded down) of all the ratings (float your cursor over a star to see how many) you've been given. There are so many irrelevant ways to get stars or to lose them that the star system is basically meaningless. There are "5 star party" threads where people exchange high ratings. There are even star bandits who register dozens of users just to steal random people's stars away like thieves in the night. Stars are really treated more as a game than as a measure of your worth. Nobody is going to ignore you just because you only have one or two stars. Really.
- Post counts: There is no rule that someone with a higher post count than yours has a more valid opinion. By the same token, having a lower post count doesn't make you any less of a geek. Trying to win any argument by referring to post counts is the quickest way to convince everyone that you have no argument other than your pride. That being said, posters who have been around the block on the board have seen a lot of fur fly, and they know where it usually lands. Keep that in mind if they offer you some advice. It might save you some hard knocks.
- Titles: Based on your number of posts, you will get a title under your name. You can find the title list and the post counts required to earn them in the FAQ. Sometimes, people start threads to congratulate each other on getting promoted, but this is just an excuse to have a party. It doesn't mean they really care. For some odd reason that nobody can really explain (probably a glitch in the board software), some users get assigned the title of "stranger" when they first register their username. If you start off as a stranger, you will probably stay a stranger forever. You won't be able to climb the ranks no matter how many times you post. This doesn't have to be a bad thing. A lot of the rank titles are goofy (like "Pooh-Bah"), but being a "stranger" forever makes you distinctive.
- Reg. dates: The date you were registered. Due to another board glitch, some people get weird reg. dates from before the birth of the Sci Fi Channel or even the internet. Also, if you have very recently registered, somebody might accuse you of being a sockpuppet or a troll. Just explain that you aren't, and try to understand that they probably have good reason to be wary; fresh usernames are often created by longtime board members to troll the board or to create the impression of support for their opinion. Hence the term sockpuppets (also often referred to as "clones".)
- IP numbers: Your computer's IP number (your unique internet address) is visible to anyone who clicks the printer-like icon at the bottom of one of your posts. If you create a sockpuppet username, it will still have the same (or a very similar) IP address, and you will probably get caught, so it's not a good idea. (Besides, it's against the Rules.) However, there are many situations where multiple people (in a building or on a campus) share the same public IP, and sometimes an IP used by one person on one day is assigned to a different person in the same city on a different day. So don't try to act as somebody's judge, jury, and executioner solely on the basis of an IP number.
- Private Messages: If a flashing envelope icon appears beside your username at the top of a page (where it says "Welcome"), that means someone has sent you a Private Message (PM) that no one else can read. Click the icon to go to your inbox and read it. PM exchanges can be very useful to privately smooth over disagreements; send nice ones. Not just because it'll get you farther, but because you might be quoted. (It's considered bad form to quote a PM verbatim in public without the sender's consent, but that doesn't mean it won't happen.) If someone tries to intimidate you or tell you to leave the board in a PM, unless their username is "Admin" or "Admin1", just ignore them. Only the admins have the authority to make such decisions for the board. Everyone else is just another user.
- Who's Online: This link at the top of the board takes you to a list of currently logged in users, along with a brief description of what they are doing (what thread they are reading, whether they are writing a post, et cetera). If anyone tries to use this information against you (it happens sometimes), you can take yourself off this list. Find the option by clicking the My Home link (beside the Who's Online), and then editing your "Personal Information".
- Avatars: Also in the "Personal Information" section of your My Home page, you can choose an "avatar": a small picture to be displayed under your username. This is a good idea, since people scan the board very quickly and you will be recognised more consistently if you have a visual logo. You need to provide your own pic, though, and upload it to an image server. See the Survive Making a Reply section, above, for details on how to do this. Do not put [img][/img] tags around your avatar's URL (web address) when you paste it into the text box provided.
- Signatures: You can also choose a signature (or "sig") to be displayed at the bottom of every post you make. This can either be a line of text, or an embedded image (also called a "banner"), or both — though it can be hard to fit both, because your sig can't exceed 100 characters. Try not to make your banner too tall; it makes scrolling more tedious for everyone else. Embedding an image in your sig is exactly the same as embedding it in a post. (Again, see the Survive Making a Reply section, above.) Don't forget to click the "Submit" button when you're done.
Survive Other Usernames
Sartre wrote that "Hell is other people," and if you get frustrated with Skiffy you might be tempted to agree. You might even be tempted, like many, to refer to the Skiffy population with the word "ass" followed by either "hats" or "clowns". Whatever you feel, it cannot be denied that at heart, Skiffy is other people. And if you learn to appreciate their funny hats and clownish pranks, it doesn't have to be hell at all. Especially if you take the suggestions in this guide to heart. And that's what most of this guide is: it's a set of observations of what tends to raise Hell around here. If you ignore them, it doesn't mean I'm going to pull you over and write you a ticket. But in my experience, somebody probably will. Here are a few more suggestions to avoid getting yourself into conflicts that didn't need to happen...
- Don't assume that a few people are expressing the will of the entire board. There is no such thing as the will of the entire board. Confine your remarks to the people you are dealing with. I've seen a lot of posters make dozens of enemies in a single blow by flinging insults at the whole board (or "the fans") because a couple of people exchanged strong words with them. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you start picking fights with "everyone", don't be surprised when "everyone" starts picking fights with you.
- Don't tell people they shouldn't be discussing what they are discussing or in the detail to which they are discussing it. People are interested in different things. That's what makes life interesting: you can share from a diverse menu of specialised obsessions. If there's a topic you personally don't care for — don't read it. Move your drink to another table. And if you're lucky, nobody will pull up a chair to say that your particular fetish isn't welcome.
- Don't try to shout down people with odious opinions. It really, really doesn't work. Actually, it backfires, because it motivates them to keep posting just to prove you didn't win. And when the smoke clears, you'll still be here, and they'll still be here, and you'll still have to post together.
- Don't pounce on people for "hijacking your thread" if they make a few off-topic posts. With all the traffic, any tent you put up will inevitably be used by a few passersby as a shelter for a little smalltalk. If it starts to overwhelm the topic of the thread, you may want to ask them politely to take the discussion elsewhere, but it is counterproductive to get angry at them, because they'll probably just return your anger in kind, and nothing hijacks a thread permanently like a flame war. The best counter to the problem of too many off-topic posts in a thread is to add more on-topic posts. There is no substitute. And remember: if someone is posting in your thread, at least they are helping to keep it afloat.
- Don't overreact to small irritants. All it will do is provoke neutral spectators to throw in against you. If you feel like blowing your stack at someone, try to see the situation from their point of view. Remember that a lot of board veterans might have heard your question so many times they've become cynical about it or no longer take it seriously. And veterans: remember that newbies often don't realise this about you.
- It always pays to keep in mind that the intended meaning or tone of a post may not have gotten through to you accurately in a written medium. By the same token, if someone misstates what you wrote or seems to distort it, don't automatically assume that they are doing it intentionally; give them the benefit of the doubt. You don't always interpret posts perfectly either — nobody does — and you will want the same courtesy.
- Don't answer insults with insults. It takes two to conduct a flame war, and it's bad for the board. But it's even worse for you. You might feel liberated by your anonymity: nobody can know your name, or see your face, or notice that you haven't shaved or put on make-up, or aren't wearing a trendy outfit. But that doesn't mean that you have no appearance. The only way to appear "ugly" online is through your words. Don't be ugly. Even if the person talking to you is being repulsive.
- You can't force someone to continue to argue with you. If they want to stop, just let them. Don't exact revenge by sniping at them in every other thread they frequent. This is like hanging a big "obsessive stalker" sign around your neck, and it will not win you any allies: just the opposite. Once an argument is over, please, let it be over — for all our sakes.
- I'll finish this section by quoting a great set of recommendations on how to recover the lost art of the civil debate, dug up from somewhere and posted on Skiffy by AerynSun44...
- Avoid the use of Never.
- Avoid the use of Always.
- Refrain from saying "you are wrong."
- You can say "your idea is mistaken."
- Don't disagree with obvious truths.
- Attack the idea not the person.
- Use many rather than most.
- Avoid exaggeration.
- Use some rather than many.
- The use of often allows for exceptions.
- The use of generally allows for exceptions.
- Quote sources and numbers.
- If it is just an opinion, admit it.
- Do not present opinion as facts.
- Smile when disagreeing.
- Stress the positive.
- You do not need to win every battle to win the war.
- Concede minor or trivial points.
- Avoid bickering, quarreling, and wrangling.
- Watch your tone of voice.
- Don't win a debate and lose a friend.
- Keep your perspective—you're just debating.
Survive the Stalkers
If all of the above fails, you may find yourself having made an enemy who is stalking you throughout the board to embarrass and insult you, this is a great time to use the Ignore function. Click on the offender's username, and then click the "Ignore this user" link at the bottom of their profile. Their posts will no longer be readable to you; instead, you will see the message *** You are ignoring this user ***. They will also be blocked from sending you Private Messages, which could be very handy to avoid reading private abuse.
A lot of people treat "putting somebody on Ignore" as a way to issue a final slam in an argument, and then they turn the function off again within days, only to end up announcing they are putting the same user on Ignore all over again. This doesn't accomplish anything but blowing your Ignore credibility — and you may need that, later.
The key to using the Ignore function is to mean it. Once you have told somebody that you have put them on Ignore, do it. Don't read their posts, and don't respond to them, ever again. Not even to remind them that they are being ignored. Besides being comically self-refuting, this just lets them know that they are still on your radar. A stalker has one purpose: to leave poison pills for you everywhere on the board. They will only lose interest if they genuinely believe that you aren't swallowing, and they won't believe that if you keep burping at them. Without the upside of connecting with their intended audience (you), all that is left is the downside of looking to everyone else like an obsessive wanker. Eventually, they will get it, and they will stop. Stay the course.
Survive the Trolls
Despite your best efforts to prevent them, heated arguments will happen, and they rarely manage to conclude without somebody having been labelled a "troll". If you took every such accusation at face value, you would have to conclude that "trolling" is synonymous with "having an opinion". The majority of the people who are called trolls are nothing of the kind. Writing a negative commentary on the show does not make someone a troll. Not even if they express it loudly and obnoxiously, and resort quickly to insults. That may make them a jerk, but not necessarily a troll. And if they are branded as a troll, they may decide to just go ahead and be one (because there's nothing left to lose). So be careful with this label.
The reason so many people are mistakenly accused of trolling is that the definition is based not just on what is said, but on what is the intended effect, so there is some judgement and guesswork involved. Before calling somebody a troll, consider what you think they are trying to achieve. Genuine trolls are not after likeminded posters to share their discontent; they want to provoke as strong an opposing reaction as possible. Some people just seem to derive a form of satisfaction from pushing people's buttons. This turns them into anti-posters: instead of trying to win agreement from those opposed, they fish for maximum disagreement. So take all the touchstones of civil debate quoted above, and turn them on their heads: that's the Genuine Troll's Rulebook.
Now let's say that you've identified somebody as a genuine troll, and you're ready to pull out your club and administer a wicked smackdown. Take a moment and think about it. Even if what they are doing is undeniably trolling, can they really be taken seriously? Are they actually hurting the board? Or are they just making it a weirder and more interesting place to be? A lot of trolls are of a relatively benign sort that likes to play out little comedies which end with them gloating (publically or privately) over how many suckers they've reeled in. They probably don't even believe what they're saying; it's all a big put-on, a sideshow that increases the board's carnival feel. If it's not too offensive or sadistic, let 'em have their fun. If it's too off-topic, eventually the admins will lower the boom.
The truly unpleasant trolls do not have comedy on their minds. They are pushing an agenda, and their goal is to try to portray a particular group of fans they disdain as tragically flawed, by provoking in them the worst possible reaction. They may even believe that they aren't trolls at all. But the jackpot they are after is a massive flame war, and they will do everything they can to get it. Don't give it to them! They are the destroyers of threads, and the dispatchers of newbies from the board. If you give them what they want, they will be back for more. Don't try to prove them wrong. Don't answer them point for point. Don't even quote their offensive and inflammatory rhetoric — that just gives it new life. And most especially do not, under any circumstances, flame them. There is a reason for the almost universal internet consensus expressed in the slogan: DON'T FEED THE TROLL.
But if you really feel you have to ignore the conventional wisdom, there are some ways of responding to trolls without substantially increasing their caloric intake...
- Ignore them. Even after you have already decided that you can't, try again. A universally ignored troll will eventually die of starvation. It never fails.
- Post near them not at them. Engage in discussions with other people in the thread, but don't acknowledge the troll posts in any way. This diverts others from the troll as well, and helps create a "group snub" effect that can be very effective.
- Compliment them on any good point they may have made and minimise all disagreements. This approach can sometimes actually convert a troll into a halfway reasonable board member. Think better of your enemies than they think of themselves; they will be inclined to agree with you and act accordingly.
- Take nothing seriously — neither the troll, nor yourself. This will help reduce the whole thread's temperature and deprive the troll of a hot meal. Be warned though: you are risking an exchange of quips that could escalate and play into the troll's hands.
- Ignore them all over again. After having tried one of the above responses, and seeing the trolling continue (as it most likely will), return to this default best-strategy ASAP. The last thing you want is to get into a prolonged exchange. The best result for the board is for the thread to get back on topic, or to sink for lack of posts. That's not going to happen as long as you are still returning serve.
Fired by ambition or anger, some trolls decide they're going to quote or repost their rant on every thread they come across. These are troll spammers and they are especially dangerous to the health of the board. Troll spamming can simultaneously ignite a dozen different threads into instant flame wars, and change the mood of the entire membership within minutes. The good news is that spamming is heavily disfavoured by the Skiffy admins, and the offending user will almost certainly be banned. And if they create new usernames to come back and do it again, they'll just be banned again, over and over. The admins may be slow to come around, but they aren't known for giving up.
But between visits from Admin1, the ball's in our court. And this is the time when it is really necessary for the board to pull together and provide a unified response, because the only good response to a spamming troll is no response. You may think that trying to engage the spammer lightly in one thread is not going to be too harmful, but when there are 20 other people doing the same thing on 10 other threads, the net effect is to herd the entire board into the troll's corral. A few attacks like this in a row, and the board can lose (and has lost in the past) many of its regular visitors, perhaps including your favourite conversationalists. Think about that when you have that urge to respond. Instead of indulging it, you can channel your frustration into two actions that will bring the admins down upon the spammer as quickly and effectively as possible...
- Notify the moderator: At the bottom of every post you read there is a row of four icons called "Post Extras". Click the "Notify Moderator" icon, third from the left (
), to notify the admins that they should pay special attention to the post. (At Skiffy there is no distinction between moderators and admins.) If the admins have time, they will look at it and hopefully, they will delete it, and they may even ban the troll who posted it. It is not very likely that on their short, infrequent visits the admins manage to get through all of the posts that are marked for them, so please do not abuse the notification system by notifying for trivial reasons or out of spite. And if you find out that one of your posts has been notified, don't take it as an insult or cast about for suspects. All it means is that somebody thought the admin should see it. If the admin decides there's nothing wrong with it, the post will survive. And the admins do sometimes delete threads on their own initiative even when they haven't been notified at all.
- Send the admin a PM: If a troll spam attack is especially virulent or offensive, the only surefire way to be certain the admins will get wind of it is to send a PM to "Admin1" describing the offence, naming the user responsible and all the threads where the attack took place. You will get results faster if you make things as easy for the admins as possible, for example by including a link in your PM directly to the spammer's user page so that the admin doesn't have to search around for it. When writing your PM, be polite! And if action isn't taken for hours, don't get angry and launch your own spam attack on the admin's inbox with repetitive PMs. Remember that the admins only visit the board a few times a day. And it may also be useful to know that only "Admin1" (not "Admin") reads PMs. So "Admin" may well appear on the Who's Online list, delete some off-topic threads from the front page, and then disappear without ever being aware of the spammer.
The most destructive species of troll is the fanwar troll. Rather than just provoking negative reactions for fun or degrading some random fanboys, the fanwar troll has a specific user or set of users in mind, and the objective is to turn the whole board against the target(s) and spark a three-alarm fire that will rage across every thread (or site!) in which they participate. The idea is to somehow force the victims' excommunication from a board, from a site, from an event, or from contact with the show's creators.
To this end, the fanwar troll dredges up material from their victims' past and, in a baneful combination of stalking and spamming, posts this material repeatedly in any thread where they are known or participate. Then they wax moralistic, demand satisfaction, and climb to dizzying heights of sanctimony. Fanwar trolls are actually quite easy to spot, because they direct their arguments primarily toward the board at large. Appointing themselves moral standard-bearers, they demand of everyone, 'Why do you not disavow this user for the good of fandom?' But they demonstrate quite clearly that they care nothing about the good of fandom, because if they did, they would be privately bringing the information to the attention of the site proprietors, instead of trying to turn a public fan venue into a killing field.
Fanwar trolls are often joined within minutes by names you've never seen posting before, who may feign dismay at the troll's attack, but reserve their gravest disapproval for the victim, and who make sure to quote the entirety of the troll post to extend its reach. These are almost certainly the troll's sockpuppets, or recruits from from a hostile board. Even the troll himself is often a dirty-work proxy for a board member with a colossal grudge.
Fanwar trolls create a crowd of threads at the top of the board that are all about vicious fan politics and nothing else. It's the worst climate a board can acquire. Newbies will be instantly turned off — because why should they care about any of it? — and longtime posters who witness it will often decide to take "breaks" or leave altogether, never to return. The reason fanwar trolls are so much more insidious than garden variety trolls, or even ordinary spammers, is that their attacks are so personal.
Like many lightly moderated boards, Skiffy is occasionally targetted by fanwar trolls trying to set members against each other with personal attacks. It is imperative for the health of the board that offensive trolls simply be reported and ignored. But nobody likes to stand silent and just take it when nasty personal attacks are involved. Inevitably people will feel compelled to respond, and wars will happen. This doesn't mean we have to throw up our hands and leave in disgust. If we accept the fact that they will happen, we can ask the more practical question: where should they happen? Should we let the trolls lead us around by the nose as they deface every thread on the board? Or should we respond on a ground of our choosing?
I propose this thread, the Survival Thread, as a ground of our choosing. A ground for anyone on the board to post a defence (if they cannot refrain) to vicious personal attacks or to persistent, disruptive trolls. Instead of helping them derail the thread they targetted, post your response in the Survival Thread.
DON'T FEED THE TROLL is still, and always, the best advice. But if you really feel you must — don't do it in some innocent thread that doesn't deserve to be dumped on any further. Do it in the Survival Thread. And then whatever the trolls do next (and wherever they do it), try your best once again to just drop it, and if you fail to drop it, again — do it in the Survival Thread.
If you wish, you could post a link to the Survival Thread in the original thread where the troll attack occurred, but keep in mind that if you have your account set to display, say, 10 posts per page, what is on "Page 5" is completely different for you than for someone who is seeing 20 posts per page. Here's how to make a link that will always lead directly to your post regardless of page settings...
- STEP 1: Try to ignore the troll. No need to link to a response that doesn't exist.
- STEP 2: Post your unrestrainable reply to the troll in the survival thread.
- STEP 3: Before you post anything else, click your username to see your user profile.
- STEP 4: At the bottom of your profile page, click "Show all user's posts".
- STEP 5: Your most recent post is at the top of the list. Click the subject line.
- STEP 6: See how that link took you directly to your post? Now copy what is in the location bar at the top of your browser: that is the address you want to paste into the original thread.
I have responded in the [url=AddressFromStep6]Survival Thread[/url].
The Survival Thread is not a "thunderdome". It is not exempt from moderation, and it is not a licence to freely assault trolls. I suggest you use the same restraint as you would in any other thread on the board. And the best response is still no response. But if you must respond — let it be here.
ADDENDA
Linking to the Skiffy Survival Guide
This Guide is just a set of suggestions. It is not a rulebook. Please do not quote sections of it at transgressors as if citing a legal document. If there is a newbie who you feel could use the benefit of the advice contained herein, just refer them to the Skiffy Survival Guide as a whole in a friendly manner with the following link...
If someone is already aware of the Guide and doesn't care for it or refuses to take heed, just let them be to do their thing. There is no point in replacing troll wars with rules wars.
Commenting on the Skiffy Survival Guide
If you have any corrections, suggestions, or comments on this Guide, I invite you to post them in the Survival Thread itself. I will monitor it on a regular basis.